Six Week Surgeon Visit

I went to see the surgeon last week for my six week visit. I parked, walked in then realized I'd forgotten my cane. They recommend you keep using walking aids, to allow the muscles to heal evenly, and avoid creating bad movement habits. I can walk easily without my cane, though I usually take it with me for longer walks, as my hip starts to get sore. My walker has become and extra seat for visitors, and a rack for drying towels. The crutches I borrowed from the Sooke Loan Cupboard languish against the wall beside the door. I haven't used them once!

I spoke with the nurse, Colleen, for a long time while waiting for the surgeon. She checked my incision and said it was healing well. She wasn't thrilled I cane-free, but watched me walk, and said it looked good. I feel like a bit of a rebel, but I have been doing my physio, yoga, and taking care to walk evenly. I'm working on getting my pelvis in line and my hips swinging. Hoping to join a Zumba class for fun, fitness and mobility.

Getting Moving
I asked her about impact, once I've finished my three months of restrictions and am onto getting moving again. Turns out she's an ex-pro skier, maybe a bit older than me. She said it's the impact that creates the damage, and that her knees were starting to go from too much 'mogul-munching'. She likened my new hip to a Ferrari. If I 'drive' it carefully, I'll get a lot more miles out of it than if I grind through the gears and race it on bumpy roads. Makes sense. I'm still hoping to get some jumping in on the dance floor, but I won't be running any marathons. I'm fine with that. 

I've been itching to get moving, and thinking of taking my bike for a ride on the Galloping Goose. The Goose is a former railway bed, now a nice, relatively flat and wide path through the woods. The nurse said it would be okay to ride it, the only danger being falling off my bike, tearing my healing muscles. We agreed the wise choice is to wait until my three months are up. Sigh. 

Heredity vs Lifestyle
We also talked about heredity as the cause of arthritis. She felt it was a large factor, but that a lifestyle including lots of impact was also a contributor. My younger sister, who has not had such an active life, has recently developed hip pain. We're hoping it's a result of a fender bender, not the first step on the path to hip replacement. Only time will tell. 

Colleen asked how my hip felt. I replied that my left leg feels a little longer than my right, but my physio had said it was probably a result of the healing in the joint. It does feel rather full and stiff in there. She said it might feel like that for up to six months, and that it takes at least a year for the various clicks and pops to fade away. 

Revision Surgery
I asked her about revision surgery. She told me that it involves chipping the prosthetic out of the femur. She brought me a demo prosthetic to show me the small holes that the bone grows into, one of the reasons for the restrictions in the first three months. I have heard of cemented versus non-cemented prosthetics. The cemented version could have more risk of dislocation, but be easier to remove for revision. The nurse, Colleen, said that hopefully by the time I need revision, in 20 or 30 years, they'll have some fancy new technology that will make it easier. 

Surgeon Says!
The surgeon arrived, he said my x-rays look perfect. He checked out my gait and pronounced it good. He re-iterated the three month precautions, and chatted a bit.Then just before he left, he dropped the bomb. He said my left leg is 1/2 an inch longer than my left! That if it stays like that, I can just wear a lift in my shoe. Not the best news for someone who spends a lot of time barefoot. He talks so fast, and I was so surprised, that I didn't manage to ask him anything more about it. I will when I see him again, in about 2 months. 


Today's quote, to celebrate Shakespeare's 400th birthday: How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?  ~ William Shakespeare

Back on my Feet!

Today was the my first day back to standing poses without my restrictions. Very exciting! Generally, it felt so good to allow my body to gently extend further, although there were a few disappointments.

Surya Namaskar
To stay true to my 'don't bend not past 90 degrees at the hips' rule, I have been doing Sun Salutations with a block under each hand. I also released my right leg backward, and bent my left knee as I lowered my hands to the blocks. The nice not-restricted feeling of reaching my hands towards the floor, was tempered by creaky, stiff muscles. I don't know why I was so surprised! I am moving like a stiff-as-a-board beginner. Very humbling. 

In Surya Namaskara B, I have been doing a looong squat, while my partner moves through Warrior I on the the right side. My quads still need strengthening. I was happy to leave the squat behind (who likes squats??), and it was a treat to step forward into Virabhadrasana I on the right side for the first time in months. My hip is still sharply painful with downward pressure on the right foot. 

Ardha Chandrasana
When I did Half Moon pose on my operated leg, I dropped into a familiar, joyous sensation of flying. I actually felt more stable, and more fluid in my right leg, than on my left.  The more ease I feel on the right side, the more I notice the beginnings of same downward spiral on the left, starting with the same tight, sore feeling in the adductor. Standing on the left, my hip feels tight and held, the SI joint close to seizing. Damn.

Virabhadrasana 1 and 2
Both Warriors feel tighter and stiffer on my left hip. A bit discouraging. Still, I will keep working with a vision of fluidity, encouraging the freedom in the right hip inform the left. I'm sure it will help that with the left hip, I know what I'm dealing with. I have many more tools at my disposal. I hope I can keep it healthy for a long time. 

Shades of Past Practice
In gently stretching my muscles into the poses, two things were apparent. 

1. As my right hip becomes more fluid, my left hip is probably going to tighten up. I will do what I can, with diet, exercise, and visualization, but... It's kinda sad I don't get to enjoy two healthy hips at once until after I get my left hip replaced. But. It is what it is.

2. I remember doing standing practices, something like six months ago, feeling very distracted. After I'd corrected Zack the umpteenth time, he diplomatically asked if my mind was a bit busy. I centered myself, and burst into tears. "I can't be present - it hurts too much!", I said. I'm so lucky to have left that pain behind!

I love my practice for many things, but especially as a barometer of the changes in my body from one day to the next, from one year to the next. I am so blessed to have achieved a high level of fitness and facility before my hip seized up. To be able to move forward again is such a phenomenal gift. I am dancing in my head ALL the time these days, and can't wait to get into the studio. I'm looking at teaching some classes in the fall.

I have so much more appreciation of my body and its abilities. This is such a journey of staying present with what is.

Today's Quote: 'Don't it always seem to go, you don't know what you've got til it's gone." Joni Mitchell

Prepare for the long haul

I've been told more than once that I limp less now than I did before my surgery. Which makes me want to consider my healing finished. But it's a long process. In fact, as I move forward, I realize that my sore hip was affecting me more than I understood.

It's a weird thing, how chronic pain seeps into one's life. At first a few twinges, a pulled muscle that doesn't go away. Pain after a long, beautiful walk with the dogs. I saw most clearly how far things had progressed when I saw myself through the eyes of my brothers and sister last Christmas.

I still have pain in my hip, but it's changing every day, for the better. I walked the dogs today, and felt a familiar lightness slipping into my psyche like an old friend turning up for coffee. I realize now in coming out of the pain how much it was affecting me. Much as I do my best to accept what each day brings, each 'no' carries a little sadness. Each 'sorry, I can't jump on the trampoline', or 'I wish I could come skiing too'. Even 'sorry, I can't help you with that', doesn't feel so good. 

Surgeon Visit
So I'm excited to be on the mend, to be moving forward, though my visit to the surgeon on Friday was a bit anti-climactic. He and the nurse were happy with my progress, and after watching me walk agree I'm okay to walk without a cane. 

The sad thing is the precautions stay. The family was hoping to say goodbye to the tall toilet seat, that gets stinky quickly. Not yet. So I still can't bend past 90 degrees, cross my right leg past the midline of my body, or twist at my right hip. For another 6 weeks, and maybe another 6 months after that!

The Precautions Continue
Turns out the precautions are not just to avoid dislocation. It's important to allow the body to build some thick scar tissue around the joint capsule, for long-term stability in the joint. Sigh.

So, here are the things you get good at in the looooong recovery from hip replacement.


1. Golfer's Reach
Since you can't bend forward at the hip 
without going past the recommended
90 degrees, one leg trails out behind 
when you bend down to give the dogs 
their bowls, sweep fluff into a dustpan 
or...pick up a golf ball.

2. Sock Pulling

I have borrowed this ingenious contraption, called the sock pull. It makes it easy to put a sock on my right foot, since I can't bend towards that leg. 

3. Uneven Downward Dog
This is how I get up and down from the floor, through a downward dog with my right leg extended. It makes me think of older students, who have looked at me with disbelief when I asked them to sit on the floor.

4. Asking for Help
I can't reach forward from sitting to pick up a cup from the coffee table. So I ask for help a lot. It's a good thing.


I'm doing my best to stay patient, to be in each day, and not look forward to the day the precautions are off and I can stretch my muscles out. It's going to feel sooo good! But I'm not looking forward to it or anything. Not at all. ;)



Today's Quote: There is no way to Happiness. Happiness is the way. ~ Buddha

Asking for Help

First, thanks to everyone who wrote in with advice to 'take it easy!' after the last post. Your reminders help when I feel like a wimp for lying around all the time. Still, when I tune into my body, it's clear. Lots of rest = lots of energy + less pain. Being on my feet a lot and getting a lot done = more pain + needing to rest. As with most things it's not easy to find the perfect balance. 

My life changed drastically in 2006, when I split up with husband of 12 years, sold my dance and yoga studio and moved to Montreal. As part of re-inventing myself, I took on a gratitude practice. I tried to let go of my pride in giving, and embrace the value of receiving. I reciprocated thanks with 'you're welcome' instead of 'no problem' or 'sure'. I allowed friends to offer me help, whether a listening ear or a temporary home. I found my new practice humbling.

But Rome wasn't built in a day. In Montreal, I furnished my apartment with other people's castoffs, found on the street, at yard sales, and Craigslist. I bought an 8 foot wardrobe, made of large heavy pieces of pressed board held together by tiny pegs inserted in holes. I bought it unassembled, no instructions included. 

Earlier in the same week, I had mentally chided my roommate for moving in without asking me for assistance. Somehow I didn't see the irony of assembling the Ikea Beast solo, when she was just down the hall. I assumed she was busy doing something important, like watching TV.

I tried to put everything together in the right order, but really, it was a job for two people. Though I used all my limbs, lifted and counterbalanced, pushed and pulled, I couldn't quite piece the thing together. Then just when I thought I had it figured out, it all crashed down on top of me like an oversized house of cards. I peeked out from underneath a heap of boards to see my roommate in the doorway, one eyebrow raised eloquently. 

Fast forward to my present state, post-surgery, limping behind my walker. Some things I can manage just fine. I've perfected 'The Golfer's Reach', sliding my operated leg out behind me as I bend my left knee to pick something up off the floor. But keeping from going past 90 degrees of flexion at the hip is a challenge. I can't reach forward to pick up my tea from the coffee table. I can't take off my right sock, or put on my pants. Walking with a glass full of juice is a messy proposition.

But it seems that all the letting go I've been doing in the past years makes it easier to ask for help. Of course I am lucky that my partner is generous and accommodating. My stepkids are more willing than usual to lend a hand, especially for things I obviously can't do myself. My friends are sweet with gifts of food, flowers and time. I don't feel anyone looking down their nose at me, mentally suggesting that I could be doing things myself.

I'm revisiting humility, and finding it rather exhilarating. There's something profound in searching for the balance between caring for yourself, and allowing others to care for you. It's a new version of opening up to receiving, of giving others the gift of giving to me. I hope that when I am once again able to do everything myself I will continue the practice of balancing giving and receiving. 

Today's Quote:  “We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness.” 
― Thich Nhat Hanh

The View from the Other Side

Well, here we are, one week later, and I'm healing up nicely. It feels so good to have the operation over and done with, to be moving forward into the next phase of my life.

I went in to the hospital early last Friday morning, escorted by my family. Got gowned up, talked with my anesthesiologist and surgeon, then was wheeled into the operating room. It seemed full of machines (where was the machine that goes 'ping'?), and people in surgical gowns with masks. They introduced themselves, then put the needle into my hand for the IV. I started to cry. They asked if I was in pain. 'No, I'm just scared.' I sobbed. They were sympathetic. "Nobody really likes to be in here with us", they said.

So I had a little cry, then got the needle for the epidural, which I almost immediately felt sending ice down my legs. They laid me on my side, and said I'd be awake, but woozy for the operation. I felt them moving my hip around, and was about to protest that they hadn't given me enough freezing, when someone said, "That's it. You're done." What a relief. I hadn't liked the idea of being awake while my hip was dislocated. 

I was wheeled to the recovery room, where I kept myself entertained waiting for the feeling to come back to my legs. They felt as if I'd put them asleep from sitting and meditating for way too long. The difference was, there was no pins and needles as they came back to life. Eventually I got wheeled into a lovely private room with a view, where I spent the next three days.

The staff were friendly, though of course the food was terrible. In a place where people are staying to heal, don't you think the food would be packed with nutrition, rather than devoid of it - and flavour? The first couple of days I could barely swing myself out of bed to a walker, then shuffle to sit on a commode beside it. But by the last day I was walking myself to my private bathroom, and the morning I left even got a shower. Pure bliss!

I came home on Monday, and it was so lovely to wake up the next morning in my own bed, with the birds singing outside the window. I learned that first night not to be too stingy with my meds, as I couldn't sleep for the pain. So far I have to sleep on my back, rather than on my side as I usually do. One of the hardest, and most painful things is getting in and out of bed.

My three precautions that I have to keep up for three months are:
1. Don't bend at the hip more than 90 degrees
2. Don't cross your legs
3. Don't twist at the hip

Not so hard now, but I have a feeling they'll be difficult as I feel more capable. Apparently these movements put my hip at risk for re-dislocation, though on physio did say it would probably only happen if I was in one of those positions and got knocked by the dog or something.

Anyway, it's almost a week later, and though I'm getting pretty good at hobbling around with my walker. Today I actually 'walked' just scooting it in front of me, stepping one foot in front of the other without limping. I can put more weight on my right leg every day, and have invented a little sideways shuffle of my feet for going short distances. More humorous than efficient. 

After a week off, I got back to restorative yoga practice yesterday, and it feels SO good! Sleeping on my back has been uncomfortable, with this crunchy feeling behind my ribs that I knew would be fixed by some Supta Baddha Konasana. I'm trying to incorporate breathing exercises, though it's hard to keep my mind present, as the drugs take me interesting places. This posture, who's name eludes me at the moment, feels the most delicious, as it opens up space in both my hips. 

I had a moment of standing without my walker this morning that started me jubilantly singing 'I'm Free!' It was an amazing sensation, tho I've only been hobbled for a week, and every day it's getting easier to move. It gives me empathy for those, my Mum among them, who need to use walking aids all day every day, with no end in sight. I am counting my blessings! 


Today's quote: “You never really know a man until you understand things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” Harper Lee. To Kill a Mockingbird.